everyone expects the new mom to be tired.
I mean, how could you not appreciate that a mother
whom just carried a child in her womb for 10 months
and then labored, cried, pushed, endured a life-threatening procedure to birth a baby.
is tired?
Theres is no argument there.
Right? Right.
On the other hand, however.
Somewhere around three months, at least in my experience on three separate occasions, is where the scale starts to shift.
The kind and understanding, “you must be so exhausted, how can I help?”
Starts to sound a bit more like, “You look good! How are you feeling? Is Charlie starting to sleep better? He must be waking up less right?”
And from there, it only gets better.
My favorite line- is the one that goes like this.
“Hi!!! OMG, your baby is beautiful! You must love every single second of it! And how is he sleeping? Is he a good sleeper!? Mine was sleeping through the night at 12 weeks.”
…. long awkward, slightly rage-building pause…
The answer for me, has always been no.
Does your baby sleep through the night.
No.
Does you baby sleep through the night?
Nope.
Does you baby sleep through the night?
I wish!
Does your baby sleep through the night?
hahaha, WTF is sleep?
Does you baby sleep through the night (when said by a beautiful, well-dressed, well-groomed individual)
…gazes around the room for a sharp object… “Of course he does! Doesn’t every baby?!!”
Does your baby sleep through the night?
No. Nope. Notta. Nope-on-a-rope. Nut-uh. Not on your life. Not on your Nelly. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
No. He does not- as I reference my four-year-old son.
No. She does not- as I reference my almost-three-year-old daughter.
No. She does not- as I reference my almost-one-year-old baby girl.
NO. THEY DO NOT. As I reference my husband and I.
May as well even throw the dog in there, because Lord knows nothings been the same for him since these gremlins arrived on the scene.
So, quick recap.
is baby sleeping- nope.
is mom sleeping- nope.
My point is.
There are certain things you don’t say to a pregnant woman.
There should also be certain things you don’t say to a postpartum woman.
Perhaps ever?
In my book. The list looks something like this.
How do you feel!?
We’d love to come visit, how does during nap time sound, so they baby will be asleep and we can visit!?
Does your husband help you with nighttime feedings!?
Do you want to go back to work!?
Are you thinking about supplementing?!
When are going to introduce foods, maybe he’s hungry!?
Is your baby sleeping through the night yet!?
instead…Try this.
You look beautiful. I bet you’re exhausted, let me hold that baby and you go rest.
I dropped by and left some groceries on the porch for you. Please text me if you need ANYTHING at all.
I am going to make you dinner and drop it off this week. Anything special you like or dislike?
Let me take those toddlers out of the house for a bit, it looks like they would love to go to the park today.
I made you cookies. And I will also be bringing by raw edible cookie dough. Did you know they made that now?
You are doing great and this is an impossible job.
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it will get easier- and maybe more challenging in different ways.
And..
I believe it might be true, that becoming a mother by nature will mean you may never rest easy for the remainder of your life. As how could you, knowing your heart is existing outside of your body?But on the flip side, I am pretty that when you become a Mom. You also are categorized a a SUPERHERO. And I hear they have magical powers which help you need less sleep?
xoxoxox-
second mom club.
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